Attack of the Compilation – Another Slayer Tribute

Attack of the Compilation – Fckn’ Slayer!

Antichrist Magazine and Ground Sounds Promotion presents A Tribute to Slayer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCBierffU-4

Well, Well. Cult has apparently left his laptop open again. But this time rather than setting eyes upon all manner of naked flesh writhing in ecstasy the main screen displays a Bandcamp address with the words “Slayer” front and center. Suffice to say I can’t ignore such a sight. Apparently, he’s been struggling getting this off the ground. Family, work and assorted other things are warranting his attention at present. In actuality he struggles with a bunch of things. But that’s another story. And my penchant for chasing four-legged delicacies will have to wait. So, what is it exactly that we have here? In short; Twenty -six bands from around the world giving their audio tribute to tracks which have undoubtably formed the extreme world of audio as we know it today. Fair enough. I’m curious. What say we dive in?

Expect to see this word more than a few times in the near future

What grabs the attention first is the fact that there are twenty-six acts (and tracks) on offer here. That’s huge and so is this. This runs close to a whopping two hours in length. If it weren’t for the fact that Slayer is what’s on offer here, and there’s somewhat of a supposed Pandeamonic (yea, I know I spelt it wrong but it sounds infinitely better this way) spreading across the globe I‘d say sod this and go back to the mischievous activities I so love to take part in. But fck it, I’m curious and always up for a bit of Slayer. Perusing the track listing (which again “is huge”. Imagine a nubile youth saying that on her knees. Sorry, I got distracted) it appears that the material on offer is somewhat in chronological order, that is to say in the same order as the originals were released (I could be mistaken so don’t quote me). But enough of such details I’m imagining you’re as curious as I to get this thing started. However, Before I impart my thoughts, I’d like to drop the track listing along with the countries each act is from (this is truly a global affair much like the current Black Plague sweeping its way past Kanye West in Google searches. Notice how the majority of the acts are relatively unknown (is this just me? Do I have to swat up on my knowledge of the scene some before I continue?) With this in mind I’m considering this an ‘underground compilation’ a fact which only makes me more curious still.

1 – Tankist (Estonia) Evil Has no Boundaries

2 – Aeons Abyss (Australia) Die by the Sword

3 – Hateful Agony (Germany) Black Magic

4 – Serpents Kiss (United Kingdom) Tormentor

5 – Lone Hunter (Brazil) Crionics

6 – Intrepid (Estonia) Chemical Warfare

7 – Myrholt – (Norway) Kill Again

8 – Hamvak (Germany) At Dawn They Sleep

9 – Beltane (New Zealand) Angel of Death

10 – EigenstateZero (Sweden) Piece by Piece

11 – Grand Demise of Civilization (USA) Raining Blood

12 – Mindwars (International) Criminally Insane

13 – Frijgard (Switzerland) South of Heaven

14 – Unto the Wolves (USA) Silent Scream

15 – Hellming (Brazil) Mandatory Suicide

16 – Day 40 (United Kingdom) Ghosts of War

17 – Zvijer (Bosnia and Herzegovina) Cleanse the Soul

18 – SavageZ (Brazil) War Ensemble

19 – Macabre Decay (Sweden) Expendable Youth

20 – Hicsos (Brazil) Dead Skin Mask

21 – Imminent Reaper (Mexico) Skeletons of Society

22 – Killrape (Brazil) Born of Fire

23 – Injector (Spain) Dittohead

24 – Domination Inc. (Greece) Disciple

25 – Jumpscare (Italy) Bloodline

26 – Outis (Ireland) Jihad

(Damn, it’s a long list, my digits are tired!)

Hitting play, it’s easy to decipher that each act has their own spin on the track they’ve chosen to ‘tackle’, some more so and often times even a little experimental in tone than others. Styles are diverse and range across the metal spectrum obviously Black, Death and Thrash take the lead (is this even a race?) whilst Power, Epic, Symphonic, Atmospheric and Speed are tossed in to show the transition in another genre (sometimes using a few in one track) can actually be pulled off to good effect. And boy can it, in some instances I’m literally bouncing off the walls with excitement. As is customary in times like these I have a ratings system designed for such this purpose (note that it’s a tad spicier than Cult’s attempt at the same);

Abysmal.

Not in the good way. Toss this in the ocean and punch the nearest passerby to let out the frustration of spending money on schiite such as this. Jesus might like this. But I still believe it has the potential to do naught but line the birds cage. Jesus loves everything, which in my opinion is rather silly. Jesus you’re a prat!

Hrrrrrhhhhh-!

Better, this shows potential. Much like, I’d imagine, your mother on a first date. But it still leaves me wanting. And she needs more training; those French fries weren’t free dammit!

The Goblin are going crazy!

Admittedly the annoying green bastid’ like most things and get excited at the drop of a turd but occasionally they have a suggestion which turns heads. And if the whole collective, much like an obnoxious stench-ridden green tide, agrees there must be something worth giving, at least, a cursory glance towards.

Time for a Crimson Splattered Moshpit!

Now this is worth sharing, break out the goblets, the fiery liquid, the unwilling, let’s break some limbs and party till the Dark Lord yells at us to get back to work!

All Mine!

I’m a selfish bastid’. And this is too fkn’ good to share. It’s all mine. Just try to take it!!

Where it all began

To sate the curious types, those who have zero patience, I’d give this a “Time for a Crimson Splattered Moshpit“ rating. This collection shines with blistering pace, boils over with talent and offers a myriad of alternate visions of tracks which should already be ingrained upon the senses for those willing to open the mind. But for those who have yet to set ears upon the almighty Slayer (I can’t for the life of me wonder why this is the case) I seriously have no words. Before you continue please set your ears upon the classics, then if you wish to return please do so in order to discover a slew of acts with a great deal of passion on offer. Within such a compilation such as this they are naturally a number of tracks and acts (and styles) which garnered my attention to a dangerous degree, there are some which I could do without (but taking into account differing tastes… Nope not doing it! I’m not pandering to the easily offended, fuck this. This is my article and I won’t apologize for my preferences) and others which had such an effect on me that makes me wish I could bottle their very essence. Without further preamble and in order of appearance (as sometimes I’m OCD like that!)…

here are a few which especially perked my interests

Tankist – Evil Has no Boundaries

https://tankist.bandcamp.com/

A fantastic start. Raw, blunt and thrashy. Slayer I believe would approve! This is Just what one needs to get into the mood. Surprisingly good production aids this in spiking the adrenaline levels.

Aeons Abyss – Die by the Sword

https://aeonsabyss.bandcamp.com/

This track lends an early brutal edge to this compilation. Although the sound is a tad off (turn this track up for full effect) this still manages to deliver. Rasping vocals accompany a sludgy blackened feel bursting with subterranean groove elements. Heavy drums accentuate the allure of this one although it might take a few listens to fully appreciate.

EigenstateZero – Piece by Piece

https://eigenstatezero.com/

This is one of those experimental tracks of which I was talking. A tad industrial, a little progressive and a whole lot different but it all somehow comes together and works. There’s enough atmosphere in here to make a fanatic of the fantasy realm sit up and take note. Buried in the mix it takes a little while to decipher but it there’s and adds another layer to a track which is beyond intriguing. Did I mention this was silly fast? Nope. Well it is. An odd track for sure with its fair fare of unique brutal but it grows on you like the most lovable of enigmatic fungi.

Grand Demise of Civilization- Raining Blood

https://granddemiseofcivilization.bandcamp.com/

A fantastic twist on a true classic. Adding significant Gothic elements, pitch darkness and varied tempo transformations works wonders. There’s just enough uniqueness here for it to become memorable though not an abundance as to make the track far from instantly recognizable as homage. The maniacal elements are top notch as well the atmospheric into and outro.

Mindwars – Criminally Insane

https://dissonanceproductions.bandcamp.com/album/do-unto-others

It’s hard to ignore this track. It isn’t far off the tone and feel of the original but with the added emphasis on the drums and a tad more oomph in the percussion its infectious to dangerous levels. I’m keeping an eye out for these guys in the future.

Day 40 – Ghosts of War

https://www.facebook.com/dayforty/

This is an excellent rendition of admittedly one of my fave Slayer tracks. An intriguing introduction, very Thrash metal circa late 80’s, leads into heavily accented vocals, head nodding Thrash with hints of Hardcore. Nuff said but simply put this is a banger!

Zvijer – Cleanse the Soul

https://zvijer.bandcamp.com/

Blistering, precise and often raw with a gravelly vocal approach which fits perfectly. This track seethes with a remarkable quality and gets to the point quick.

Savagez – War Ensemble

https://savagez.bandcamp.com/releases

I’m a sucker for feral female vox (it appears Cult is too, which explains his recent obsession with Asarhaddon). Although this track takes liberties with the original’s arrangement, and wavers from brutal Thrash to more a more relaxed tone, it still manages to hit the spot. Admittedly not on its first try but it gets closer each time it’s played.

Imminent Reaper – Skeletons of Society

https://www.facebook.com/ImminentReaperGDL/

Another heavily accented Thrash attack. Not sure what it is about accents, they often add another level of viciousness to the accompanied percussion, in this case that’s the case (did I say “case” enough here?) There’s a little more passion here than in the original but it works. Another great addition to a collection which is fast becoming damn impressive!

Domination Inc. – Disciple

https://dominationinc.bandcamp.com/

I’m not sure what it is about this track. At first it didn’t do a damn thing for me. Somehow that changed. This isn’t traditional Thrash, this isn’t traditional Hardcore, it isn’t truly Crossover but a mix of all three topped off with East Coast angst (which is strange as this isn’t from New York, rather Greece better known for its Black and Thrash).

And the following are those which had me twitching spastically, like one possessed.

Intrepid – Chemical Warfare

https://intrepidest.bandcamp.com/

Old school groove, old school brutality, growls of the variety to entice a smirk to alight across the chops and a production tone to match. Clear the floor, if this doesn’t make you want to bounce from one wall to the next there’s something certainly amiss. I could play this all day and not get bored of it, reminds me of the good ole days I used to attend concerts in dank cavernous dive bars.

Myrholt – Kill Again

https://www.facebook.com/olealexandermyrholt/

Vocals with venomous spite, an archaic rawness, but also effective atmosphere tossed in to mess with how one might assume this will play out. The aura fits, what more can I say this has me nodding my head and thinking of all manner of glorious diabolical acts.

Hamvak – At Dawn They Sleep

https://hamvak.bandcamp.com/releases

This has a Speckmann/Master vibe thing going for it. A primitive nature combined with a thick dirge quality which is highly effective. Huge bass adds a tribal feel of sorts and it works!

Beltane – Angel of Death

https://beltane.bandcamp.com/

What can I say about this track? It’s another example of if it wasn’t executed to a certain degree, I would have tossed this whole comp no matter the remainder of the quality on offer admittedly. Seriously, Slayer’s most infamous track. It has to be treated with respect and given justice. In this case. Fuck! Be prepared. The percussion is tight, on point. The tracks maniacal nature is added to with a wicked somewhat psychedelic twist. But it’s the vocals which tear the flesh from the bone. Feral female vox are my weakness (I’ve said that before) but this is ridiculous! It’s as if the owner of the throat in this instance is possessed. Like openly urinating whilst explaining the virtues of good parenting at church type behavior. I’m adding seeing a rendition of this in a live setting to my bucket list. Who am I kidding, making it to the land of Peter Jackson (New Zealand) is high up there too. One day, one day. I only wonder if they’d mind if I took along a four-legged friend as a travelling companion?  I hate peanuts and pretzels only make me wish I had mustard.

Frijgard – South of Heaven

https://frijgard.bandcamp.com/

There’s a strangeness to this track. Much like the original it has an undeniable sinister tone, though in this case the percussion has an added eeriness and the vocals an edge as if a Viking is in cahoots with a band tinkering with Post properties. This is a little different and I’m of the belief this is a controversial take but I’m loving the shit outta it. It could well perhaps be my choice for the ‘pallet cleanser’ of this collection.

Unto the Wolves – Silent Scream

https://www.facebook.com/untothewolves/

Define industrial vibes on display here. Machine gun riffs coupled with inhumanely tight drums. But it has a wickedness which is hard to pinpoint and I’m liking the chaos which abruptly breaks the precise nature. Turn this up and introduce the neighbors to the pleasures of Slayer!

Killrape – Born of Fire

https://www.facebook.com/killrapeband/

Raw and blistering. This is straight for the jugular, no nonsense, Thrash with production values which add to its malicious intent. Need I say more? Nope, this is a winner, crank it!

Injector – Dittohead

https://injector.bandcamp.com/

I’m incredibly thankful that someone did this track justice. Admittedly, it’s a riot starter and I would’ve left pissed if it was included and not up to standards. Thankfully it is and it appears I have to complain elsewhere. Kudos Injector for pulling this off!

And this is cut and pasted from the article which accompanies the audio on YouTube, it seems appropriate.

Prepared and released by Antichrist magazine.

Follow SLAYER: https://www.facebook.com/slayer/

Follow Nuclear Blast: https://www.facebook.com/nuclearblast…

Follow Grand Sounds PR: https://www.facebook.com/grandsounds/

Follow Brave Words: https://www.facebook.com/bravewords/

Subscribe to Antichrist magazine for latest updates: http://bit.ly/2hNi0gr

Visit our magazine: http://antichristmagazine.com

Visit us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/antichristmag/

Visit us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Antichristmag

And that’s it. This is a fantastic slab of worship which demands ears upon it (though I can’t say I’m not disappointed that “Necrophiliac” wasn’t covered). Perhaps one day this collection will appear on Bandcamp? Until then flood the YouTube channel in which it appears and be sure to thank the minds and talent behind it.

Support the artists, support the genre and hell, why not support me? I’m always up for spending money on crap.

Your loyal misshapen acolyte of most things extreme,

B

Abrasive Audio…Special Edition- Challenging Kman’s Champions

Abrasive Audio – Special Edition

Challenging Kman’s “Champions” 

This has been a busy year for metal, an outstanding one, again. And with so many releases to keep track of the prospect of doing so is daunting. I’ve attempted to scribble a few words upon that which has caught my ear from time to time, but the spectrum of metal is quite the unrelenting mistress. There is an individual however who weathers the storm and reports like no other, whose tireless dedication is a wonder to behold (I believe in order to do this he must be ‘besties’ with Doc Brown or alternatively, that he drives a DeLorean on a regular basis).

As the year reaches its climax this same individual took it upon himself to tackle a myriad of genres (some which I’m honestly quite unfamiliar with if truth be told) to stand triumphant with a short list plucked from each. A list featuring his choice for the years champion and runners up, or the” champion’s entourage”, if you will. Naturally tastes vary, and my list is most probably going to be different from his, yours, hers and the guy who runs the off license down the street on the corner. With that in mind I thought it prudent to take it upon myself to do a spot of exploration. The task is daunting. But it didn’t take me but a few seconds to consider an approach to start upon such a quest. Then it struck me, I need a companion who’s willing to also take the same plunge, a glutton for audio punishment if you will. Enter Paul PMZ, (@paul_pmz on Twitter) a chirpy like-minded fellow whom I shoot the shit with from time to time. Paul is the editor of a new tabletop gaming and music zine SIX IN THE HEAD (the first edition dropped recently. I even have a few words featured in it). https://sixintheheadzine.com/

Reluctantly he agreed to my demands, though I did promise to send him a few pictures of the wife’s Yorkshire Pudding to sweeten the deal.

Yorkshire Pudddinnnnggg-!

Without further preamble, Paul imparts a few words on the task at hand and his surroundings;

Where I am right now the weather isn’t just frightful – it’s brutal. “Man overboard!” levels of rain and wind lash and howl outside (Ed* And there I was thinking …” the rain in Spain fell mostly on the plane…”). Lives will be lost in this today, mark my words. So, I’ve stayed inside with the dogs and listened to all the following albums in their entirety (pretty much).

These are my thoughts –

Melo- Death

Insomnium – Heart Like A Grave 

https://open.spotify.com/album/5pIG0iF4OvplbceJAx73ys?autoplay=true&v=L

Paul – Not for me. I can totally see why somebody would totally love this but I don’t. Too anthemic. Too melodic. I imagine this is what it would sound like if Europe never wrote The Final Countdown and became a death metal band instead. Would make great theme music for an anime series about freezing to death.

Cult – With rhythms which are criminally infectious, an aura which feels part Amon Amarth, part Arch Enemy, part Swallow the Sun, soaring leads and melodies which make one want to close their eyes and drift away (to where I do not know) an effective atmosphere to match and arrangements which scream expertise there’s no doubting that this will continue to delight as its audience grows reaching near bubonic proportions. Probably not for every mood but for when the mood fits, this delivers! Prepare to be swept away.

Power Metal

Dimhav – The Boreal Flame 

https://dimhav.bandcamp.com/album/the-boreal-flame

Paul – Great cover art and the intro to this is wild. Sounds like three separate albums all playing at once on fast-forward. The rest of it though, you can keep. The vocals alternate between over earnest and over shrieking. Also, it’s far too musical. Keep your musicianship to yourself I don’t want to hear it.

Cult – Power Metal is a realm I rarely frequent, if truth be told. However, the art here has me intrigued; I’ll give this a once over. In short; The introduction is fantastic, the musicianship superb, there’s enough pace variation to please most anybody and the album burns bright with an epic flame. But it’s all a little too much for me. Hardly horrid, this is a release I would really have to be in the mood for to be able to sit through in its entirety.

Tech – Death

Demiurgon – The Oblivious Lure 

https://everlastingspewrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-oblivious-lure

Paul – OK now we’re talking – fast, hard-hitting and guttural. No idea what any of this album is about but, based on its title alone, maybe it’s about fishing. A pummeling 39 minutes of music. Nothing negative to say about this apart from the band’s logo, which should by rights be a lot more unreadable. Beautiful stuff.

Cult – Upon discovery of the album’s art one is immediately hit with an image which brings to mind a “World Eater” type creature. Which is either a scene from a StarWars film or the title of a legendary Bolt Thrower track all depending on one’s tastes. The album hits hard immediately and continues to deliver all one could wish in a tech-death release; Brutish Orc vocals, a ferocious twin pronged assault, tight riffs, a pace which is diverse, head spinning and unpredictable and pummeling precise drum salvos. All without offering too many layers (one would require a scalpel to dissect) or going overboard like a few other acts in the same genre I’ll refrain from mentioning. I honestly can’t see a single reason why a fan of the genre won’t fall ass over tits for this. Top notch from start to finish, this will leave one feeling exhilarated and sweaty!

Hardcore/Punk/Crust

Zig Zags – They’ll Never Take Us Alive 

https://zigzags.bandcamp.com/album/theyll-never-take-us-alive

Paul – I hear echoes of Metallica, The Stooges and Saxon in this but the Zig Zags play it punk and fast. This is music for drinking cheap beer, skating makeshift ramps in backyards and travelling about LA with scabs on your shins in the back of a stinking van. If that’s the feeling the band were hoping to conjure up with this record then they’ve achieved it perfectly.

Cult – Hemorrhaging nostalgia this pummels the listener with influences plucked from when the scene itself was in its adolescence. Metallica, Misfits, Blitzkrieg and even a slew of nods to landmark tracks (from around the time), surf rock and plenty of punk attitude. Sheesh! The vocal style even brings to mind Mike Muir (Suicidal Tendencies) in some tracks. Get out the skateboards (forget the pads and helmets. We’re rebels, what a little blood harm anyone!) and the Walkmans. Let’s ride! Do not miss this!!

Pagan/Folk/Viking Metal

Finsterforst – Zerfall 

https://finsterforst.bandcamp.com/album/zerfall

Paul – Pagan metal intertwined with orchestral “soundscapes” that thankfully are used to great effect and don’t disappear up their own arse into Jean-Michel Jarre/prog-opera territory. I’m not a huge fan of choirs in metal but everything else on this is just so good that I can live with it. Warhammer music and I say that as a huge compliment. Tonight, gentlemen, we ride into battle. Epic.

Cult – Admittedly, this is a genre I visit rarely but I’ll state without reservation that I was left stunned by the first tracks impact. One might think this to be akin to atmospheric black with the cover art in mind. It has elements but there’s so much else on display and arranged in such a way that any newcomer to this will instantly sprout a smile upon experiencing what caresses the senses. Doom, melodic death, black and folk elements (showcasing traditional instruments) with no value over crowding the other, everything co-exists in grandiose, exquisite, harmony. And the fact that the lyrics are in German only makes it infinitely more intriguing. I’d usually balk at seeing a thirty-seven-minute track listed, but not here. It crosses off every box and obliterates all expectations. I foresee this featuring heavily in my play history in the coming months. Don’t be the last to jump on this!

Atmospheric Black Metal

Ruadh – Sovereign

https://ruadh.bandcamp.com/album/sovereign

Paul – I’m not saying this isn’t very good indeed because it is. For some reason though it left me feeling a little underwhelmed. As atmospheric black metal it does exactly what you want it to do. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s very good but then so are mashed potatoes and I don’t want to eat them on a daily basis.

Cult – Wrapped in an effective storm atmospheric motif, dramatic and epic qualities this album provides a rich tapestry bursting with depth, emotion and majestic rhythms. Even a few in a style one might not expect (based on genre assumptions) and a few passages one might. A symphonic accompaniment, including vast nature-scapes fits perfectly, executed in such a manner that one can close their eyes and imagine actually being a part of the scene. An aura the listener can easily melt within. In short, an experience which showcases just how diverse the genre can be, is, and the surprising heights an excellently crafted album within its ranks can attain if handled with care such as this. A fantastic jumping on point for those even slightly interested in a genre which has yet to garner the attention it deserves.

First Hellripper, now this. Glasgow is getting quite the moniker for its high-quality metal output.

Progressive Metal

Evergrey – The Atlantic 

https://open.spotify.com/album/7IBDcZQla4fTMEmjzcHneu?autoplay=true&v=L

Paul – If I were to draw you a Venn diagram for this, I would put Soundgarden, Korn and Whitesnake on it and stick these guys in the overlap. I don’t really have anything else to say about this. It’s not really for me. “All I Have” has a good intro. Sorry that’s all I have.

Cult – Audio which brings to mind both the 70’s, 80’s and more recent audio with hints of thrash, djent, melody and riffs for days. Top notch vocals and an eye-opening level of musicianship certainly aid the intrigue. And all in a manner far from what many might perceive as traditional extreme audio. Doom shrouds the whole affair although this is at times rather upbeat there’s still an underlying melancholy. And a surprising diversity which spans Gojira, Devon Townsend, Nevermore and Dream Theatre qualities. Hardly what I listen to on a regular basis but with quality such as this on offer it’s not going to be hard to persuade me to dip my ears into the genre on a more regular basis. This may well be the type of audio which is served as a stepping stone towards the spectrum of metal for this is extremely difficult not to like.

Black/Thtrash/Speed Metal

Necropanther – The Doomed City 

https://necropanther.bandcamp.com/album/the-doomed-city

Paul – Thrash, black, death, who cares what it’s called? Is it any good? Yes, it is! It’s very good. The guitars are thrash, the vocals are a combination of black and death and the drumming is totally berserk. This one got my head bobbing and my legs bouncing vigorously. Which, bearing in mind this is the eighth album I’ve listened to in a row and this chair is hurting my arse, is no mean feat.

Cult – A melting face, body bits floating around in a crimson stew storm, with a “Darkman” type character front and center. I am intrigued. The vocals grab the attention immediately, a dual assault. A growling approach and another which is a doppelganger for Chance Garnett. This isn’t a bad thing in the slightest, as who doesn’t love SkeletonWitch in their prime? The audio is a likely result of drunken night slippery (?) shenanigans including the minds behind 3 Inches of Blood, Arch Enemy and SkeletonWitch with liberal sprinkles of darkness and wicked flourishes of criminally infectious power metal flair tossed into the pot. Thrash, speed, death, blackened death, call it what you will, it certainly doesn’t feel like a “concept” album, but be sure to set a timer as listening to this will make the hours fly. This, much like their last, is (in short) beyond top-notch. With another release such in their future I’ll predict Necropanther to resident in a league of their own. Damn good doesn’t even come close to how I would describe this! Pick this up at your earliest convenience.

Heavy Metal

Lord Weird Slough Feg – New Organon 

https://thelordweirdsloughfeg.bandcamp.com/

Paul – After listening to all of the above, this album of classic heavy metal jams welcomed me like a pure and loving embrace. This is what it’s all about. Forget all that other nonsense. Death? Thrash? Black? You kids think you bloody invented music you do. Get a dose of this down you son. This is all you need. Now go on get out of here.

Cult – Twin harmonies, galloping riffs, lyrics saturated in intriguing historical themes, playful folk rhythms, an aura which tosses one back, grinning, several decades and a style which is a timeless often imitated but rarely achieved in a quality and tone such as this (did I mention the production is crystal clear but also finagled in such way as to make one think this could well have been plucked from assorted vinyl racks in a store circa 1979). There’s little not to like here. A somewhat unique vocal style, one could easily place among the likes of Dickenson, Dio and Kilminster (it’s ‘Lemmy’ for those not in the know) adds to the overall fun. I’ll admit this grows on me the more I allow it entry into my system.

Stoner/Doom/Fuzz/Psych Riffs

Hazemaze – Hymns of The Damned 

https://hazemazeband.bandcamp.com/album/hymns-of-the-damned

Paul – Imagine smoking a shitload of strong weed, dropping acid and listening through the wall to Sabbath playing next door. That’s what this album is – the perfect way to spend an afternoon. Not that I’ve ever done acid. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. This is chunky, groovy masterpiece. A great listen and an addictive vibe. Man.

Cult – If the Psychedelic sacrificial, goat head wearing cultist, art doesn’t pull you then the audio certainly will. Sabbath-esque in tone sporting plodding riffs, surprising agility (for an album of this ilk) and a production which only heightens the intensity of the heavens are gonna fall riff assault. If you only buy one doom album this year this is where the money should be spent. I’m not a fan of the more traditional end of the genre. This however, is captivating and its rhythms downright trance-inducing. Now, where are my Bell bottoms, Denim jacket and that large bucket of Kool-Aid?

Death Metal

Basilysk – Emergence 

https://basilysk.bandcamp.com/album/emergence

Paul – A bit like the Ruadh album this one is what it is. If you like death metal, which I do, there’s nothing not to like about it. It’s very good indeed but so what.

Cult – Boasting a collection with no track sounding the same as another is a mean feat. But Basilysk pull it off! Channeling a myriad of influence, a technicality which brings to mind Pestilence, progressive elements veering heavily towards Schneider worship and passages which scream OSDM, whilst others growl grindcore with undeniable groove this is an album which doesn’t disappoint. It might not possess your senses on the first listen, but its hooks are in. After another its grip is tighter, deeper and there’s absolutely no denying this is far and beyond the typical “death” release. There’s something here for everyone and this becomes clear as the album plays out. Doom weaves its way alongside the tendrils of an occasional cavernous aura which frolics with South American aggressive thrash, melody appears as if out of nowhere to levitate the intrigue and a diabolical essence seeps from out of the ether adding to the enjoyment. Let’s not forget, however, the epic closer; a maniacal arrangement with a second act. An exquisite Arabian themed tribal drum affair which hints at much more than merely a little (Black) Sabbath here and there in the bands past listening habits. Seek this out if you haven’t already!

Thrash

Overkill – The Wings of War

https://open.spotify.com/album/2IUZN5c0AVdrnQKfxdMaPK?autoplay=true&v=L

Paul – On the other hand, I’m never really sure if I like thrash. I don’t dislike it so that’s something. But you know what? This album fucking kills. I don’t think I’ve ever used that phrase before but I’m pretty sure I want to listen to this album over and over again and cover my wall in this band’s posters and buy everything they’ve ever done.

Cult – A few moments in and I’m hit with as perplexing question. Why did I ever stop listening to Overkill? I wore out the Horrorscope cassette If any band is deserved of a place in the ‘Big 4’ now Metallica have ‘defected’ it’s this band and this album proves it. Trademarked “Blitz” vocals accompany incendiary rhythms which scream we’ve been doing this for years and we aren’t slowing down anytime soon. Add a Ramones -esque tribute to the bands home state (New Jersey), a touch of crossover, a handful of riffs which will have the mind reeling as to whom it reminds you of, a diverse lineup of tracks and you have an album that’s repeatable without complaint and sure to get the listener twitching with delight every time. For the record, this isn’t my favorite of the year, it’s close and damn enjoyable!

Doom

Arctic Sleep – Kindred Spirits 

https://arcticsleep.bandcamp.com/album/kindred-spirits

Paul – I appreciate what they’re trying to do here and it’s an enjoyable enough listen but it’s not for me. It’s too emotional. I like to keep my emotions tightly wrapped up and locked away where I don’t have to think about them thanks very much.

Cult – At times dreamy, often mesmerizing but always captivating, this runs into epic lengths and boasts a fluid nature which is outstanding. Occasionally it might put one in mind of a “light” November’s Doom. The vocals however are miles from what one might expect, with this in mind, not in the slightest “growly” they’re more on a par with tranquil Pink Floyd output, an aura this album also boasts in equal measure. Ideal for those nights when a blazing hearth is the only light in the room and one is bathing in the comfort of a self- induced haze (I’m not going to spell it out). This is an album you can lose yourself within, surprisingly it’s also radio-friendly. Shit, the wife (or significant other of choice) might even like this. Truth be told. It’s extremely difficult not to appreciate even if, like me, ‘extreme’ is your preferred audio arena of choice.

Death/Doom

Novembers Doom – Nephilim Grove 

https://novembersdoom1989.bandcamp.com/album/nephilim-grove

Paul – First of all, can somebody please explain to me why this band doesn’t have an apostrophe in its name? That aside, this doesn’t do much for me sorry. If you come around my house you can stick it on if you want. I won’t complain. I’ll enjoy it. But I won’t ask to borrow it.

Cult – Admittedly It’s been a while since I’ve laid ear upon a release by these guys. However, I’m glad to report that trend has come to an end, and how. Shattering my preconceived notions Novembers Doom have utilized all the death/doom genre is known for them added their trademark thunderous rhythm approach, passionate vocal diversity and stupendous epic arrangements (which tug at even the most hardened of emotions) and have fashioned an album which delivers from start to finish. This is perhaps their finest work to date. Seriously, who can look upon the covers art and not be curious? Expect to find this upon many a year end list. It’s more than deserved!

Black Metal

Borknagar – True North 

https://open.spotify.com/album/6rgxoXvmfe33dbnm8CdVlU

Paul – You head true north and I’ll head true south and let’s keep it that way (*Ed – I’m guessing he didn’t like this one!)

Cult – Hardly what I expected, though if truth be told I’ve little experience with the band, this is epic themed, melodic, emotional and irrefutably stylistically diverse. Boasting symphonic elements, intricate arrangements, a wide vocal range/approach and unmistakable progressive heavy metal leanings this is probably not for the casual black fan, or one who demands instant, primal raw, gratification but rather for one whose tastes run to audio which demands exploration through several immersive experiences. To be honest this might take several listens to fully appreciate. With that in mind this is far from horrid, just unexpected, one might even go say far as to state; “different”, at times bordering on Avant Garde. If Amorphis were a smidgen “blacker” in tone this might be close to the result.

And, as a bonus a few words on a release featuring dominantly in Werewolves in Siberia’s ‘Best of 19’ List’

Voyag3r – War Mask

https://voyag3r.bandcamp.com/album/war-mask

Paul –

Cult – Although the albums art, a bold image surrounded in what first appears to be flames, suggests the audio might belong to the metal arena, it surprisingly doesn’t. This is synth. Far from the usual/traditional this showcases both a drum and guitar accompaniment. The result; added depth and an epic audio narrative overflowing with intrigue, adventure (and all manner of audio which would typically accompany the type of on-screen action one would expect of an over the top dramatic cinematic affair) which successfully evokes a myriad of emotion and nostalgia. Effectively conjuring images from a slew of celebrated (usually for the wrong reason) features more often than not boasting a Goblin-esque score, and various television fodder from the 80’s, this gets the imagination reeling as the arrangements flow seamlessly. Rhythms are dynamic, smooth, smoky, suspenseful and occasionally drip in palpable sinister values. Transforming they slip over each other much like dialogue but more often akin to a montage scenario telling a story which doesn’t need words. Befitting a wide array of cinema ranging from Tarantino, Guy Richie, Bava and Fulci (seriously if this doesn’t make you think of Zombie Flesh Eaters at least once there could be something seriously amiss with your viewing habits) this boasts the potential to appeal to a huge audience, as it should. Honestly, if more soundtracks were of this quality my collection would be full of them. Forget your presumptions about the genre and dive into this with a mind willing to appreciate something other than the usual. I’ve played this more than a few times today, and I’m sure I will tomorrow.

 

Well, that was exhausting. Here’s raising a glass to another year with more of the same.

Cult

Abrasive Audio…to Soothe the Senses. Werewolves in Siberia’s Top Five of 19′

Abrasive Audio…to Soothe the Senses.

Another Year End List – Werewolves in Siberia

The year has come and gone, it’s cold, Santa is busting out his supply of energy drinks for his annual global philanthropist trek, the trees are…blah, blah, blah. Enough with all that! Welcome to another Year End list. Another one? Yes, another one. This one however, you can guarantee is going to slightly different than those before it. This is plucked, in the nicest way possible (naturally), from the creative mind of none other than synth mastermind Werewolves in Siberia. In short, he’s responsible for introducing me to the world of synth. Let me be more specific.

Great synth. In actuality, one of my first, non- metal, music reviews was of his “Beyond the City of the Dead” album (from 2014). https://werewolvesinsiberia.bandcamp.com/album/beyond-the-city-of-the-dead

If you enjoy listening to audio which puts you in mind of raunchy celluloid from a bygone era whereupon people are being feasted upon by the undead, having their face pulled toward “inconspicuous” splinters or being torn limb from limb by frustrated Amazonian natives then this is a must listen. But it gets better.

His newest, “Terrifying Tales from the Mausoleum” (released December the thirteenth. On a Friday, which seems to be his thing) is a step up and widely considered his best work to date (I agree, although the aforementioned holds a special place in my music collection). Before you continue feel free to give it a listen (or do so as you read this, it doesn’t matter!)

https://werewolvesinsiberia.bandcamp.com/album/terrifying-tales-from-the-mausoleum-3

Without further waffling, I’m honored and proud to present…

Werewolves in Siberia’s Top 5 of 2019

Usually, it would probably be pretty hard to come up with a list of my top 5 favorite albums of the year.  This year though, I really didn’t get into many more than five albums all year, to be honest.  The year just kind of flew by.

I’m not going to actually rank these albums because none of them are really in the same vein with one another.  There’s something different about all of them but, either way, these were my absolute favorites from the year.  I can’t see even a possibility that, no matter how many albums I listened to this year, these wouldn’t be my top 5 anyway.

I’m also linking the Spotify pages for each of these albums for easy access to their music.  I mean, just about everybody’s using Spotify these days, right?

Municipal Waste – “The Last Rager”

I’m a big fan of old school thrash.  The kings, Slayer, have just hung it up but Anthrax and Testament are putting out some of their best albums ever after over 30 years of being around.  Municipal Waste, though, are the leaders of the new school of thrash.  I say new school and realize they’ve been putting out music for over 15 years.  They embody all that the old school brought and never stray from what they do well… full-on, all out thrash metal.

In 2019, they released the EP “The Last Rager” and I jumped on it.  It’s a great follow up to 2017’s “Slime and Punishment”.  If you haven’t heard them yet, it’s a great way to dip your toe into the water because it’s about ten minutes of thrashing fury and it’s over.  If you’re a thrash fan, this will leave you wanting more.  Luckily, they have a whole slew of other albums for you to enjoy after this one.

https://open.spotify.com/album/2DUJrtvNvNprAipiCJP3fK?si=SXaV_JHnReOH4fpM-yQR3A

The Seatopians – “Underwater Ally”

If you’re a fan of beach life, tiki culture or just dig a little surf rock once in a while. The Seatopians have got to be on your radar immediately.  I came across these guys earlier in the year on Instagram when surf-promotion-site-turned-surf-record-label Altered State of Reverb happened to mention them.  Then, I saw something really weird; they’re from the little city I live in.  That little city is Boise, Idaho.  I was definitely intrigued.  I was skeptical… because, Boise?  Surf rock?  Intrigued, nonetheless and had to check them out.   Their demo was good.  Really good.

Altered State of Reverb took the steps to jump into the record label game and released “Underwater Alley”, the debut from The Seatopians.  I quickly snatched that up and immersed myself in it.  I still can’t get enough of this album five months later.  Pretty sure I listened at least once a day for the first couple weeks and I’m still throwing this one on at least every couple of weeks.

There are legends in the surf rock game.  Legends that will live on forever; from the early days of The Ventures, Dick Dale and The Impacts to those who took the torch in the late 80s and beyond like Los Straitjackets.  Then, there is this new wave of surf bands coming around.  While I’ve come across some really good ones, The Seatopians are sitting on top of that heap as kind of the kings of the new wave of surf rock.  I mean no disrespect to any other surf band.  I’m listening to tons of it on a regular basis these days, but these guys are really making waves.  (See what I did there?)

https://open.spotify.com/album/3SuP80CDsuybUk7S8StMS0?si=lJf4AIdJTKS1yJaIZiNTnw

Voyag3r – “War Mask”

I’ve said it so many times but when it comes to synth driven music, Voyag3r are on a whole different level than most anyone out there.  They bring a full band to the mix that most don’t.  Maybe a lot of synthwave doesn’t need a full band to make a good album… but these guys are still just on a different level.

Voyag3r don’t actually fall into that synthwave category to me but they bring plenty of that culture to their sound.  They’re also bringing inspiration from horror and sci-fi soundtracks as well as crossover prog rock bands like Goblin.  Again, another level.

“War Mask” was released in April and instantly took the synth world by storm.  Rightfully so.  This album took their already sci-fi, horror and cult film score-inspired sound and leveled up.  Their sound has broadened a bit on this release but still has that Voyag3r sound we’ve all come to love.  Stellar guitar, synth and drum work is even accompanied by the occasional saxophone this time around.

If you’re a fan of John Carpenter, Fabio Frizzi, Goblin or anything in between, this is for you.  As a side note, synth master/smooth saxophonist, Steve Greene, has some amazing solo albums, too.  Check out everything any of these guys have done that you can find.

https://open.spotify.com/album/7kxmLiqSrEx3U8AnNmLnT1?si=uaWHuSnoTwy-lR1xxIOccA

Calabrese – “Flee the Light”

What can I say about this one?  Calabrese shot onto my radar way back in 2005 with their catchy-as-hell horror punk.  Rather than heading up the often-taken route of just sounding like a Misfits ripoff, they had their own sound.

Over the years, they took a more rock and roll approach, sort of a death rock sound.  It took a little getting used to at first and, while I wasn’t as into this sound as their earlier material, I still really liked those last couple albums.  With “Flee the Light”, the brothers Calabrese have reinvented themselves yet again by adding synths to their ever-evolving sound.

Usually, when a rock band adds keyboards/synths to their already-stellar arsenal, it kills the vibe.  It’s overkill.  Not here.  Not at all!  I’ll be damned if they didn’t pull it off and end up with their best release since 2012’s “Dayglo Necros” album.  I never would’ve thought that synths could add anything great to a Calabrese record.  I really wasn’t into the idea but over the years I’ve rocked out to the albums, I’ve done some distro for them, I’ve taken in their live shows, interviewed them, you name it.  Now, somehow, they have absolutely blown me away 14 years after first hearing them yet again.

https://open.spotify.com/album/1sNY7MpBrQ0qpwv9rLsDI5?si=qXXYLB_uScOt9LxutZI-vA

Majeure – “Mass Flashback”

You might not be familiar with the name Majeure.  It’s the solo project of AE Paterra from synth/prog rock duo Zombi.  Aside from it being the name of the Italian release of Dawn of the Dead or the Italian version of Fulci’s “Zombi 2”, you also might not be with Zombi.  Let me help you with that.

They’ve been one of my favorite bands since I stumbled across them on a Relapse Records sampler in ‘04.  They stood out amongst the extreme metal acts of the label and grabbed my attention like no other non-punk or non-metal band had in years.  They sounded like all those killer scores from horror movies like Dawn of the Dead and I was hooked.

Over the years, the two members have done numerous solo records and side projects.  Steve Moore has really made a name for himself with some great film scores and even jumped into Goblin’s live lineup for several shows.  Paterra has made some great music, himself.  He made a couple sci-fi synth collaborations with UK new age artist Paul Lawler called Contact that I really dug as well as quite a few singles, EPs and splits.

When this year’s “Mass Flashback” came out, it drew me in.  Something about this release feels head and shoulders above any of Paterra’s past solo releases to me.  There’s a very laid-back tone overall that you get lost in.  Close your eyes and take the journey.

This album is only six songs long but it can loop endlessly for days.  It’s that good.  If you’re not into the synth thing, it might not be for you but I’d still say you should give it a try because, to me, it transcends all barriers.  It’s not just a synth record.  It’s a damn near flawless album for any genre.

https://open.spotify.com/album/2puInERaWhQ0HVcUM8UFZq?si=sGaMX7RZQImuOYpl4Jh50g

 

C’mon whatcha doing? Bang out some synth already!

Editor’s Note ; Thanks goes out to Chris for allowing me to jog his memory and send over his thoughts and recommendations. Admittedly, the only release here which I’m familiar with (although I have yet to lay ears upon it) is the first mentioned. It appears I have some exploration to embark upon and a diverse pool of audio in which to leap into.

Scorching the Retinas – The Devils Rain

Well, hello again friends. It’s been a hot minute (at least that’s what all the cool cats are saying) but I’m back. At least for a little while, until the neighborhood fully replenishes its pet supply.

“Your Mother ate my dog!” Cult will be proud that I’ve mentioned a Peter Jackson film in this

*Buuurrppp-!

Excuse me. Whoa – that’s a long hair! I’m betting that was a Friesian? Now, where was I? Sitting comfortably on the indents left by Cult’s ass on his couch, but apart from the obvious. I’m sat here staring at a towering stack of DVD’s. Two in fact. And it appears they might be what’s holding the TV up. It’s obvious which belongs to whom with titles like the Collected Gilmore Girls, Big Bang Season 8, PJ Masks to the rescue, Train to Busan and A Dogs Purpose. Cult has we quite the varied tastes. Naturally, I jest. He lives with a toddler and his wife it’s not hard to guess that he’s a huge fan of children’s programs. But what’s this I spy? Halfway down the stack. A classic, and on remastered Blu Ray (courtesy of Severin); The Devils Rain. This is a chunk of raunchiness I need to rediscover before I hear alarms and the house starts to awaken to find an odd-looking creature on the couch cradling a remote surrounded by various baked goods.

Sans further silliness…

The Devils Rain (1975)

Director – Robert Guest

Writers – Gabe Essoe, James Ashton and Herald Hopman

Runtime – 86 minutes

Bryanston Distributers, Inc.

Before I start a few useless tidbits of information. Cult likes to tell people this came out on or around his birthday (when he was actually born) much like another of his favorites; Salo; 120 Days in Sodom. This film marked the first feature film starring appearance of John Travolta (one in which he doesn’t dance, sing or wax poetic on a “Royale with cheese”). The films consultor was none other than Anton Levay; the High Priest of the Church of Satan. Without further ado what say we hit play.

(courtesy of SeverinFilmsOfficial)

Tormented screams of suffering and wicked imagery by Hironimus Bosch open the feature to supply that truly unsettling feeling only a ten-hour marathon of The Golden Girls can effectively provide. The opening scene ends in a neato segway and introduces the Shatner family (yea, that’s not their name but it’s a damn sight easier to remember than Preston!) The lady is in hysterics and her companion, an old codger barely inches from falling into his own six-foot-deep final resting place, has trouble setting down her cuppa’ without spilling the while damn thing everywhere. Enter William (he’s understandably younger here) with the bad news, delivered in his typical theatrical fashion, that a storm has washed away the bridge. (Sure, Dad will be fine, but what about that helicopter the producers have? Couldn’t we borrow it?)

This man can’t hold his liquor.

There’s a knock at the door and some fellow with a melted face mumbles something about a book before he collapses (therein lies the problem with an all-day open bar on set). The family looks on as the poor fellow spouts something about Satan (what-!) and continues his degradation into goo. But they don’t seem perturbed in the slightest at his mention of the Dark Lord only that his clothes might need a stain treatment before they hit the main cycle. Oh, and something about a “book”.

Ole Shat heads decides to head out (with a handy Luger in tow) but only at the insistence from his mother that he wear an amulet, which makes him look like a true Baller. He doesn’t get far. Turning back, he finds his mother’s companion hogtied, upside down, and his mother missing (but he was only gone two minutes, if that!)

At this point the film has a slight western feel to it, lots of lingering shots of desert vistas, rocks and cloud formations. The soundtrack is dramatic enough to send a High School drama teach running to the hills but it’s strangely effective.

Hail Satan! He can kick your puny Gods ass!

Ole Shat arrives at a ghost town whereupon he encounters Ernst Borgnine and his crazy eyebrow pets. It is at the steps of an abandoned looking church that Shat and Borgnine strike a deal. “Your faith against mine”. The crazy eyebrow guy wants the book (it must be important) whereas Shat merely wants his parents back (but, why? I don’t for the life of me get this plot device).

A conflict ensues in which both argue over Shays given name. Is it Fife or Preston? It’s a battle of the ages, a battle of the amulets. But Fife/Preston has a gun and he isn’t afraid to put plentiful holes in those without eyes. And wouldn’t you know it one of them is seated in his car. He’s truly F-ed!

Jump to another scene. A Doctor Richards experiments with assorted Preston family members in order to better understand brain waves or some such nonsense.

I can see the future! Sure dear whatever you say.

The scene climaxes with a scream, apparently the while brain wave experimental thing has turned Miss Preston into some form of clairvoyant. Skerritt (another Preston) receives a troubling note. “Something has happened to my family”. He leaves upon a mission, cue another Nova’s (a classic car with a V8 which drinks more liquid than an excitable youth upon their virgin discovery of soda) depletion from the car pool.

Back to Shat. He’s laid out on a table sporting sufficient weeping scars to send a pharmacist running for the ‘good stuff’ but it isn’t over. Apparently, he’s tied to a cross and the bastards aren’t satisfied with merely torturing him “Where’s the book?” They want to invert him in true black metal fashion (cue vintage Venom tunes).

Spock. Help me Spock!

Skerritt and companion arrive at the church in the middle of nowhere, but it’s too late all the cookies have been eaten. However, they did leave wax “Lookit, it’s the same as was on the porch.”

A loud bang causes out heroes to look outside. Their car is now naught but a blue metal fireball. Enter stage left a familiar vehicle but it’s headed right for them. Following a spot of cat and mouse action the pair corner the assailant. But what the F-! He has no eyes (the look is one which makes me ponder upon the Shatner mask and the Halloween films, is this from whence the influence came, I wonder if anyone has ever asked?). Is this a common theme in this film, or what? Skerritt’s companion utilizes her clairvoyant skills and witnesses a party of sorts dating back centuries in which a bunch of pilgrims fight the might of the heavens, and the townships priest, whilst arguing over themselves about the whereabouts of “The Book”. It is in this scene that the Fife/Preston curse is explained. The pair get captured, Skerritt becomes part of a black robed parade (isn’t that a Chemical Romance track?) And his companion falls prey to the same trick utilized in the original Children of the Corn, the ol’ bad guy popping up in the back seat of a moving car trick.

Boo-!

Borgnine transforms into a goat character, is he Satan? (we may never know) with a wicked set of gnarly horns but Skerritt manages to escape the ritualistic scenario and returns home but not before running through one poor fellow with a pitchfork and tossing another, also chasing him, from a flight of stairs.

He manages to find his good Doctor friend and convinces him to join him in his endeavors (I’m sure a case of beer helped sway the decision). Following the script, he returns to the ghost town church and makes an interesting discovery. Apparently, you can store souls in a contraption that looks like a portable television set with a handle which has an ominously appearance, much like Devils horns. As luck would have it the eyeless rabble are still in need of supplementary worship. They return, Skerritt does what he does best (other than sport a great looking ‘tach) and for some reason the church suddenly loses part of its roof. A hole in which the storm finds its way and then the movie ends. Nope, I didn’t forget the best part.

A whole ten minutes of bubbling, oozing, flesh melting action which makes Rick Baker’s The Incredible Melting Man seem pale in comparison, although the effects aren’t quite on the same level they are effective. Most of the ‘melting’ takes place in the rain (not even the finest brolly will save you from The Devils Rain). Did I mention when the acolytes get shot, they don’t bleed, they ooze with something akin to a thick “Slurpy” orange liquid, which is often green. One could even call it a diabolical rainbow. Add to this a place of worship immolation which will make most Kvlt black metal fans salivate in appreciation and you have a film which lives up to its Drive-In cult status. Did I mention the ending is kinda silly, it’s one final twist (and the only part I won’t ruin and narrate ‘play by play’)?

A lobby card in typical 70’s raunchy fashion 

So, was this any good? It was entertaining, I’ll give it that. The soundtrack was top notch, if a little over dramatic, but it did its job and added to the scenes which demanded a little extra, it even adding to several which didn’t. The cast list reads surprisingly well which leaves me pondering on whether this was a ‘regretted role’ by any involved. Don’t get me wrong, this is hardly a bad film it’s just not run of the mill, in any regard. Sure, there’s a slew of religious persecution flicks from around the same era, even a few which are more risqué (the XXX/horror scene was taking off in a big way at the time, or so I’ve heard) some (Mark of the Devil, 1970, and its sequel, 1973, come to mind) which linger on images depicting methods of torture to make one admit to being in league with Satan (two nods to Venom in one review. I’m getting good at this!) but none, to my knowledge, which sport the same tone as this. Although, thinking upon it, Race with the Devil released in the same year and more recently Drive Angry (starring Nick Cage) come close. The Devils Rain also has surprising atmosphere and is drenched in palpable menace (these acolytes have a unmerciful zombie vibe though they really don’t seem to do much once they capture you other than bind) not to mention that the films climax is unflinching, undeniably over the top though highly effective in getting the point across that one should be weary on whom they wish to worship, as there might be consequences. I find it odd that I’ve witnessed a truckload of other films bearing an R rating when this has a PG (rating) and includes definitely more sinister values and more than enough melting action on offer.

Screw you Dorothy!

No matter how one slices it, this warrants a view. It’s not half as horrid as many others bearing similar ‘cult’ status (it delivers on its promises) it’s not going to win any awards (actually it did, well one of the actresses in it did) but it is watchable and entertaining. Did I mention people melt? Kinda puts a whole new spin on the term ‘Cuban for a cannibal’, right? Probably not, but it’s a damn sight better than a Dad joke.

I hear the alarms chirping.

I’m outta here, I gotta scramble. Until next we meet.

-B

Whoops, nearly forgot there was a Misfits album released in 2011 with much the same title and some truly stunning art accompanying its vinyl format. I’ll leave it here.

 

Scorching the Retinas – Another Jackie Chan film

 

Well, howdy. B here again. It’s been a minute (actually a whole bunch longer but that seems to be a popular expression in these parts). One might notice that my additions have been sporadic as of late. My apologies, I’ve been wondering and have found the neighborhood to be bursting with delicious pets. Honestly this is an activity I’d never thought I’d partake in but after an adventurous Bison (a dog not the cantankerous horned animal similar to the buffalo native to the plains) decided to relieve him/herself against my temporary residences front entryway  (leaving a horrendous stank in the process) I found that I couldn’t resist.

now imagine this cute lil’ bugga’ working its way down the gullet

Naturally, it wasn’t as if I jumped in full board. Nope. It was gradual. Initially a transfixing glare, which then transformed into a low growl. This didn’t amount too much to be honest. The poor mutt didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. And his/her resulting downfall was a result of the poor bastards overriding curiosity. I must smell good, though I doubt it, I most definitely don’t have much else going for me other than my questionable appearance; that of a malformed gargoyle fashioned from patchwork flesh rather than stone. Regardless, its hypnotic state climaxed in my jaw sliding its way around its furry little torso. A yelp, a smidgen of BBQ sauce later, a slice of tomato, a little lettuce, a spot of bread (Cult is spoilt. I believe his wife would prefer him plump) and my appetite was quenched if only until another quadruped found its way betwix my mandible.

Too much information? Probably. But I felt the most recent addition to my penchant list was deserved of sharing. Apparently, millions of Eastern denizens aren’t wrong, but keep the floss equipment handy, that fur is a bitch!

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes. Cult has been busy lately, his brats have been in town and between what he deems his ‘pirate creating activities’ (his job, it’s all rather enigmatic unless you know him and what he chooses to do to pay those pesky bills) and family duties his digits haven’t touched the keyboard in appreciation of that which would normally grace his senses on a normal weeks basis. Poor bugga’. However, during this time I did spy him watch a few movies with his offspring whilst gorging on an astonishing amount of fizzy beverages and sugary delectables.

I’ve provided relevant details, below, for one of the films, for those into such things (details and wot not). And, lucky you, I’ve decided to write a little something about it.

Kung-Fu Yoga (2017)

China

Written and Directed by Stanley Tong

Runtime – 107 minutes

Taihe Entertainment

Shiner Pictures

Jackie Chan is the star here, though as always unselfishly shares the spotlight, and for those who think he’s lost any of his former flair, speed, ability and flexibility you are sorely mistaken. Obviously, this isn’t as outlandish as either entry in the “Armor of God” (or for that matter “Project A”) series though it does run amok with stunts, limb flailing and Indiana Jones homage elements. From what I could make out Jackie is a historian (he even uses his real name) and with the help of a few friends (some he hasn’t spoken to in a while) he embarks upon a quest to unearth an Indian treasure site thought to be the stuff of legends. Along the way he encounters greed, a plethora of foes with supposed family ties to the treasure in question and enough tomfoolery to confuse a clown.

The story is easy enough to follow and showcases a slew of extravagant locations whilst including history regarding (centuries) past relationships between China and India. The film’s opening is not what one might expect, bathed in CGI brilliance this is the stuff of console games. Albeit online affairs of the RPG type including, but in no way limited to, armored elephants, heroes, a landscape bursting in conflict and dizzying acrobatic agility. (What does the X do again? And what happens when I hit X,Y and the triangle button in rapid succession?)

(The films opening CGI scene courtesy of Kurnia HD)

The beginning serves as an introduction to the treasure itself but also successfully drags the viewer in with its vivid, larger than life, nature and stark visuals. I’m left wondering whether those responsible went this route due to possible PETA complaint (resulting from the obvious) or the fact that elephants of this size are hard to train, let alone find. I would imagine most are squirreled away someplace taking selfies, auditioning for the live action adaption of Peter Jackson’s classic “Meet the Feebles”, skateboarding or taking part in something else equally as outlandish/improbable.

Kung-Fu Yoga itself is nothing but utterly watchable, the action is fast and furious though strays from the type of brutality exemplified in “The Raid” and “The Night Comes for Us” making it a feature the whole family can enjoy, if they be so inclined. The humor element works well both in dialogue and in the action scenes. Obviously, all one has to do is look at the DVD’s cover artwork (featuring Jackie and a Lion in an SUV) to see that it comfortably fits the Jackie Chan cinematic output mold (although he has made more than his fair share of dramas) and the film is sufficient to make most but the truly jaded and insufferable smirk during its duration.

The love interest element is playful rather than intense keeping this on a ‘family film’ platform. Seriously what’s more annoying than watching a film with a child only to have them ask “(include parental suffix here) why’s that guy putting his piss stick in her mouth?”

Several scenes warrant mentioning but based on the fact that I’m a lazy bastid’ I will only mention that which graces the films artwork. There’s a large cat, for some reason it’s in the back of an SUV (this scene was shot in Saudi Arabia if that’s reason enough) which Jackie is using to chase another who has recently stolen that which is the focal point of this film’s narrative. As one might imagine the cat gets frustrated and Jackie as well as trying to navigate the busy streets (of whenever this was filmed. Dubai?) he has to contend with the animal’s discontent and the fact that he/she could at any moment cleave him in twain. It’s an amusing scene and shows Jackie in top form without him once resorting to kicks, blocks or somersaults.

(courtesy of Hollywood dubbed movies)

Other animal moments include an escape from a pack of caged hungry hyenas (PETA might have a problem with this one, although I doubt the kicking animal antics were real). Another scene (which bears mentioning) is the films finale. Sans ruining the climax I’ll note a similarity to a recent “Mr. Bean” film in which the same sort of thing transpired, although in another style completely. It doesn’t ruin the film, as at this point you could hit stop and still ‘get the point’. And it successfully manages to tie the film into both Chinese and Indian cultures though is a scene (which tends to drag) one will either want to watch in its entirety or not.

(I’ve even included a trailer courtesy of UMP Movie Guide)

There you have it, I’ve managed to gloss over one of the most popular, highest grossing, Jackie Chan films in recent years whilst adding my own flair, vulgarity, silliness and more than a fair share of gifs and YouTube clips to whet the senses. And you probably didn’t learn a single thing, I didn’t mention any of the other actors, although I probably should have, the soundtrack and/or numerous other things Cult would have. I had fun, that’s how I roll. But now I have to be gone. I can smell my next meal and before I even start to think about munching upon it I need to find the flossers. That fur is a bitch, but I believe I’ve mentioned that before.

-B

Scorching the Retinas – Catching Up on the 80’s; Troma’s War

Scorching the Retinas – Catching up on the 80’s

Troma War (Directors cut) 1988

Writer – Lloyd Kaufman

Directors – Michael Herz, Lloyd Kaufman

Runtime 105 minutes

Yet again Cult has left something wide open for me for me to play around with. In this instance it’s a movie from those fine purveyors of low budget film filth known as Troma.

(courtesy of HorrorTrailerExpo on Youtube)

Anyone familiar with aircraft travel will appreciate the movies opening announcement and the calm way in which it’s delivered. “Thank you for flying Tromaville”. The introduction to the surviving collective displays the films aura, an over the top delivery with an emphasis on the bizarre and characters (complete with spoken aloud inner monologues and undeniable similarities to certain celebrities) which elicit an immediate love them or hate them attitude.

I bet you would even miss from this distance!

Surprisingly the ‘Bearded Clam’ (an East coast underground punk rock band) survive intact and provide some of films opening finer moments, an instance which nods at 1980’s European cannibalistic jungle affairs, and another in which a handful of teeth are spat out like popcorn following a blow.  But it’s the introduction of a militaristic unit, walking nonchalant on the beach, which catapults the film into faster paced realms. Accents abound and stereotypes frolic with role reversals. Hilarious ignorance reigns supreme as a portion of the survivor are taken captive. The remainder are split. An Englishman, conveniently brandishing a blow dart gun, takes the lead in an effort to keep the ragtag bunch alive in a quest to save the others from whatever it is that befalls them.

Oi! Watch the hair!

As their ‘quest’ takes shape personalities and peculiarities begin to unfold as too certain attitudes and beliefs. “You don’t murder vermin, you exterminate them!”

I’m not gonna’ ruin this one folks. Though I will mention it has something for pretty much all tastes, there’s nekkidness, silliness, one-liners, acrobatics, a tongue pulling (Witch conspirator punishment from Mark of the Devil, anyone??) and so many guns that the bleeding liberals among us might well degenerate into prolonged fits of foaming at the mouth seizure.

“War” isn’t without a few characters who steal every scene they’re in. Parker, Rick Washburn credited as Michael Ryder (ironically a weapons coordinator for such films as Ransom, Copland and Bad Company), is a used car salesman with Rambo aspirations. Marshall, Steven Crossley, is an English covert, spy operative type who’s quiet and reserved but in no means useless and Taylor, is a cool-headed type who’s a dead ringer for (John Stamos) uncle Jesse from Full House (the long-running series with the Olson twins).

Kevin?

A homage to adventure epics, grindhouse features, coup uprising movies and jungle horror features War shows Troma in its finest hour maintaining a delicate balance between overboard silliness and parody, a balance which has been far from ‘delicate’ since. Featuring a myriad of high caliber rifles which rarely run out of projectiles, train loads of spent casings, Swiss cheese bullet holes and a used car salesman’s Rambo antics “War” is a brilliant send-up of 80’s action affairs sporting a kill count rarely achieved in any genre and characters plucked from across many a beloved franchise (is that a pre-weight loss Kevin Smith with his arms encircling the neck of a blonde captive?) Surprisingly, however, there’s also more on offer. Mutations, muscle-bound aberrations, a multi-cultural elite unit hell bent on reforming the governing of the US (starring from inside) and plentiful T and A raunchiness. What’s not to like. Seriously?

to quote MOD; “Aren’t you Hungry?”

Fear not, for all the gore hounds among us there’s plenty to chew upon too.

Obviously, the whole shebang is given a lovingly, undeniable, Troma tongue-in-cheek slant doused in a political agenda (with a certain leaning) and isn’t to be taken seriously. For a Troma production however, it has a curiously epic edge, more explosions than a factory chock full of fault Semtex, boasts a truck load of morals and sports a cast of hundreds (most with a shelf life of less than a couple of scenes). War’s story line is admittedly minimal relying heavily on the premise that the government isn’t to be trusted and corporations are only out to bleed every one of their funds and basic freedoms. Money is the ultimate evil, how true. It celebrates the fact that everyday types, working folks, can do anything if they could only band together, forget their differences, and put their heads together to reach the final goal. Appreciatively those of the fairer sex are shown to be as, if not more than, capable than their male compatriots. “I see our asses just got saved by some pussies” to quote the lead singer of Bearded Clam when he’s plucked from deaths door by the sudden arrival of a scantily clad cavalry,

Did I mention the (oft-annoying) unrelenting rock soundtrack? Somewhat similar to that heard in Bad Taste (there’s a nod to early Peter Jackson cinematic affairs which Cult will appreciate that has been absent as of late) it lends the film oomph and emotion, in stark contrast to the on-screen antics.

“War” certainly has more guts than this.

All in all, this movie has a great deal to offer, especially for those like myself who tend to appreciate film with low decency standards, plenty of crimson, cleavage and explosions and a healthy vein of hilarity running through it.

So, whatcha’ waiting for? Seek this out and prepare to be entertained. I will state however, that this leaves me pondering if there’s a sequel in the works. I can honestly say that this is one of my favorite Troma features and I would very much appreciate more of the same, rather than rehashes of their more controversial vintage works. No matter your thoughts on the ‘label’ this entertains and l whole-heartedly recommend it.

 

That’s it, I’m out!

B-