Scorching the Retinas – Death to Metal

Consider this a review of the film

Death to Metal

Naturally, when faced with a title such as this I just had to pounce.

But what could it all mean? The term includes two words which are rather close to my heart (nope, I’m not gonna explain that one). One might wonder if the film’s release is somewhat riding the coattails of the popularity of a recent DC comic line. Although looking back upon it, this film was completed back in 2019, so the point could well be moot? There are also a number of other factors which come to mind when contemplating upon a title such as this. For instance, is this a statement following on from decades past court trials within which “Metal” was to blame for any number of atrocious acts? Or, alternatively is this a documentary?

_Exactly!

Is Metal dead? And if so – Who killed it? Did not the ‘Death to False Metal’ crusades of yesteryear reign triumphant? All are questions which deserve at least a moment of your time.

And then there’s the films description. I won’t ruin it, suffice to say that a Priest is involved, and he’s described as being a “Killing Machine”. With that in mind a pair of films come immediately to the fore. The “I kick ass for the Lord” character (if you don’t know this film you can leave now…seriously. I talk about this film until people tell me to shud the F up!) and a film within which a Priest, with a happy go lucky battlevest wearing sidekick, commits a number of crimes in order to confront the Devil. This little (Spanish) gem is known as Day of the Beast. Look it up kiddies!

Onward. Without watching a trailer just what does this film present by way of entertainment? I’m about to find out. Wish me luck.

_{One of several posters of the film}

Death to Metal (2019 – USA)

Writer – Tim Connery, Kevin Koppes

Director – Tim Connery

Runtime – 78 minutes

Genre – Comedy/Horror

First off, this is far from what I’d imagined. The film has a certain quality which is surprisingly miles removed from the celluloid fodder I was readying myself for. The direction is commendable, the acting above par, the score not so overly dramatic as to be annoying and character interactions are of the close to normal, everyday, “we aren’t on the set of a film reacting to cardboard, are we?” variety.

_{Slime? We don’t need slime where we’re going}

Without spoiling the film, which I rarely have wish to do, I’ll gladly gloss over the story (insert swirling mists and ambient music).

A priest (or clergy, I’m not even sure to be brutally honest) played by Andrew Jessop becomes disillusioned at his superior’s attitude. He’s been given a 3 month leave after complaints (en-mass) filed against him, in particular his fiery hellfire delivered sermons. Perturbed and more than merely a little angry he takes it upon himself to ransack his employ. Minutes later he finds himself face up in a ditch gargling copious substance of a dubious nature. Cut to the chase, he now looks like a cross between Cropsy and the melted bloke from (the original) Robocop and he has an issue with sinners, especially those who dwell within the blasphemous sanctuary of the Devils soundtrack, a.k.a ‘the arena of Metal’.

_{No Son. That’s not a guitar!}

As luck would have it there just so happens to be a large gathering of said individuals partaking of the Dark Lords cacophony. Ironically *Cue the type of music to slaughter sinners to.

As one might imagine, there’s a great many references to the Church and their many practices here and even a few ‘pokes’, jests, directed towards ‘men of the cloth’ who have a penchant for the innocent (nope, I will not elaborate upon that any further!) Surprisingly, there is also a fantastic depiction of the Metal scene (live events, individuals within, etc.) with a great many stereotypes and humor tossed in for good measure. As a juxtaposition there’s also the other viewpoint, the queries, the questions, the enigma. Why? Just why, when it seems like all they’re actually doing is pounding on their instruments, growling, grunting and gargling. (I often understand this viewpoint, even as a longtime fan.) This was a nice touch, as well the addition of live music. Another fantastic insert was showcasing a ‘variety’ of the genres, and fans of the scene; some are decent people, and some not so much (Hey, this happens in every walk of life) as seen in a flashback scene which helps to vividly illustrate the reasoning behind the recently suspended clergy’s state of mind, (he’s drunk too, I’m sure that adds fuel to his fire? Did I not already mention that?) Rather than totally bias the feature, as to be viewed through a singular lens, the filmmakers have successfully managed to level the playing field somewhat with the addition of another, more forgiving, clergy/Father/Priest (I should probably dust up on my knowledge of the subject?)

_{I’m looking for my sanity. Anyone?}

As previously mentioned, the film boasts a surprising quality. However, it isn’t without a few faults. Chief among these are the wavering audio levels. Understandably its quality changes a great deal within the gig setting (an element which the writers frequently use to their advantage). Unfortunately, however it also suffers without this setting, and on occasion is even stampeded ferociously by the films score. A small qualm, seriously. I have others though none quite as noteworthy.

There are several elements, as well those already mentioned, which make the film work.

_{I need this shirt!}

Undeniably a homage to the Slasher genre this incorporates many familiar factors to good use; a shambling antagonist who always manages to catch his “pray”, punchlines with a sermon edge which often land within Metal arenas (Father Killborn stating “Hell Awaits” as he’s about to deliver a killing blow. Replied moments later by “Slayer’s best album!”), dark humor within carnage scenario, characters one wants to root for and others not so much, and a pair of main characters who are everyday folk embroiled within an insane scenario who share a weird awkwardness.

_{This appears a good a place as any for another of the films posters}

Death to Metal isn’t without its share of memorable scenes. Without offering spoilers as freely as hallucinogenic substance at a Deadhead show I’ll gladly mention a few. The first brings to mind The Incredible Melting Man and Devils Rain for obvious reason as well Return of the Living Dead for those out there who know ‘details’. For a low budget film, the FX aren’t horrid, thankfully they aren’t overused though do ultimately suffer slightly from the ‘this death has been done before’ cliche. As an (unregistered) gorehound I would have liked to have seen more blood, guts and carnage (a personal preference) but I can understand why the filmmakers might have kept it, at times, low key rather than say running full tilt in realms wherein films like Grimewave, Goregasm and other particularly niche affairs exist (largely unexplored by the masses). Another fantastic touch was the addition of morals and an attempted, interrupted, Metal “Speech”;

“Metal is about being true to yourself”

“Metal is about outsiders coming together”.

The films finest moment can be summed up as follows;

Have you got it from here?

– Yea, I think I’m gonna keep running him over back and forth until the cops get here.

_{and this is merely an abbreviation of what is actually going on}

Apparently, someone with an “understanding” knows how to do it right!

All in all, this will touch the hearts of those who enjoy extreme music (more specifically Death Metal rather than Doom, Thrash or Black) low budget films, satire and films with a decidedly splatteriffic theme. For those who don’t enjoy such things, I’m truly sorry, your life must be such an awful meaningless struggle. But seriously, the film ponders to a niche and there are those who will be put off by the accompanying soundtrack, but not me. I’m actually busy researching to see which, if any, of these acts are legit.

_{Why? Granma. Why? you look happy and you’re on fire. Seriously-?}

As a nice touch Death to Metal climaxes with a humorous lyric video courtesy of “Granma Incinerator” (yes, they are also on my to-be-researched-into list) alongside the credits.

I’m happy to give this –

8 out of 10 Incinerated Granmas

Death to Metal is available this Holiday Season (2021) via Wild Eye Releasing so why not just go ahead and fill someone’s stocking with carnage, growling and brootal riffage.

Cult

For the record; Mutilated by Zombies (featured here) are a real band, below is a link to one of their records which I can’t remember reviewing, but it appears I enjoyed the experience.

https://mutilatedbyzombies.bandcamp.com/

Scorching the Retinas – Vile and Demented Celluloid Realms; Sodomaniac

Scorching the Retinas – Sodomaniac

Sodomaniac (2015)

Writers – Anthony Catanese, Steve Revesz

Director – Anthony Caranese

Runtime – 82 minutes

D.I. WHY Films

A Different Path Films

Wild Eye Releasing

Howdy friends, curious types and those who wander aimlessly in hopes to find something, anything, to brighten their meager existence. Today, I’ve discovered a wicked slice of celluloid which I just couldn’t pass up. That and the fact that Cult is under the weather means I can enjoy myself, his assortment of sugary treats and the depravity on offer without disturbance. Let’s just hope it stays that way and the movie delivers as I think we all understand that great art (no matter how boner-inducing) does not a great film make. It must be stated before I begin that if any image gives off an aura this one does and it screams “here’s metal up your ass”. Thankfully, however, it doesn’t feature Metallica as part of its soundtrack. I’m of the mind Lars would most probably vomit at the mere mention of a film with a title such as this, it’s pointless to mention therefore that he’d even want to consider being a part of it.

And that image will wake up anyone who might have been dozing!

The opening scene doesn’t disappoint and is sure to delight the most jaded among us. A form lay prone face down ass up (…”that’s the way we like to…”) with a myriad of intestine winding its way to the street. Two cops are on scene, one spouts, rather nonchalantly, “Even Freddy Mercury hasn’t seen anal carnage like this.” Admittedly, this makes me smirk wickedly, I’m an instant fan.

The film has even spawned a line of action figures, for obvious reasons

The film unravels much like the first victim’s innards. The dialogue on offer seethes with ill-intent, “roofies” are passed around like joints at a commune and the potential to offend is off the charts. The Levity on offer is blunt, if uttered in the workplace a rapid response would be a pink slip. In short, the dialogue is sure to appeal to those whose sensibilities lay in the gutter. One characters lines are littered with “you muthafuckas are gonna pay, all of you!” If that isn’t a red herring, I’m not sure what one actually is.

Misogyny, expletives and machismo flow like raging waters as the films main characters are introduced bro-ing out within their den of indecency. As their numbers dwindle trust amidst the group dwindles lower than the acting ability within the film. Something is afoot and it’s not just the fact that flowers are arriving at the house on a steady basis.

Google Maps sent me in the wilderness and instructed me to get naked

As low budget and offensive this undoubtedly is it isn’t without its “finer” points; the directing isn’t half bad. A few sentences of dialogue and a slew of interactions are surprisingly amusing and the antagonist is sure to be talked about a great deal based upon his mask of choice. Several scenes stand out (and they would have to with a title such as this, right?) not least of which a ‘Stewart’ type character (has anyone seen Beavis n Butthead?) playing a little game called ‘Edward 40 hands’. A game in which he isn’t allowed to use his hands until the 40’s taped to them are finished. To make matters even more complicated the bottles aren’t even open. Another scene is the opener; what a fantastic way to introduce a film boasting ass rape and revenge as its strongest plot devices. The features selling point however is its nod to Grindhouse and Eighties cinema. There’s ‘cheese’ aplenty and even a montage set to synth. There’s more than one montages, another notable example depicts a main character choosing booze on its ‘special properties’. 

Hey Stewart, Nice Winger shirt!

But let’s not forget the outrageousness of it all. This is like “Irreversible” meets “The Slashening” meets “I Spit on Your Grave” coupled with a Frat boy “Jersey Shore” edge and a few surprising elements which lift it from utter obscurity.

In conclusion, this is sick, vile, demented, disgusting, unabashedly offense and I can’t seriously recommend this to anyone, but the very brave.

Watch at your own risk, needless to say… I loved every minute.

B

Scorching the Retinas – Clownado; Another Todd Sheets Cinematic Affair

Scorching the Retinas

Clownado (USA) 2018

Writer/Director – Todd Sheets

Runtime – 100 minutes

Extreme Entertainment

Wild Eye Releasing

 

Well howdy folks, B here again. Cult has gone and left me a gem of a film to set my peepers on.  A film with jovial face painted types and a tornado front and center in its title and artwork. Seriously what else could someone (a filmmaker) use a tornado for? Sharks, destruction of small towns plagued by trailer parks and now Clowns?

Hitting play…

(trailer courtesy of JoBlo Horror)

Whoa, I’m instantly assaulted by a montage of various and rather creepy (to be honest) painted faced circus entertainers. It’s enough to put one in seizure. And then a veritable avalanche of dubious acting. There’s a plot in the works. A mutiny. Savannah, Rachel Lagen (Dreaming Purple Neon), has hopes to ride off into the sunset with her boyfriend and her husband’s money. But the plot is foiled when he comes home. A shot is fired, and everything is back to normal.

Try to stay still and I’m go for the highest score with three darts

The ‘Midnight Madness Circus of a Thousand Wonders’ is in town and it’s definitely not for the kiddos. But this time the Ring (Clown) Master (Big Ronnie) has a new addition to add to the show which includes darts, balloons and his conniving ex. I honestly can’t see any animals, trapeze artists or aerial acrobatics equipment in sight.

Savannah is scorned, with the help of Autumn (I’m honestly not sure what she does as part of the Circus ensemble) she conjures revenge in the form of nature draped in viciousness, a spell I’m sure could use a little more crimson and nekkidness to work efficiently. However, something is evoked and as Ronnie is busy burying his ex’s boyfriend (whom he killed with a neato between the eyes head shot) with the help of a collective of similarly painted faced types a storm brews overhead and their car (have you heard this joke?) is pulled into the resulting maelstrom.

Now imagine a small collective of clowns driving this force of nature

End scene to introduce an Elvis impersonator (not in any way whom one might expect), a friendly Southern gent, the “Stinky Pink” (bar, grill and topless joint) and Bambi who was recently fired resulting from a drunken SNAFU by a demanding bar owner Spider (played by genre favorite Linnea Quigley).

Something has happened to the Clown collective. Naturally, else this wouldn’t be a film based on their antics. And their preferred mode of transport is now a tornado. “Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore!”

Entering a local diner, they corner all the above characters (who aren’t clowns) and chaos ensues. Bloodshed, guts, flesh ripping and stabbings aplenty. Add to this titties with teeth, guts with tongues, cannibalistic fetishes, a backstory straight from a Hallmark channel special and quotes only Todd Sheets could provide (“Elvis get your black ass in the truck”, “…you might just have won a lucky kid award, you could have been Clown chow”. “My uncle, he owns an ice cream shop, uses liquid nitrogen to make his own shit”) and you have a winner.

An unlikely cast of heros and the director

Obviously, this isn’t a great movie in everyone’s book. It isn’t a Hollywood production; a million dollars wasn’t spent on the catering and it isn’t going to win an Oscar anytime soon. Admittedly not everybody enjoys mostly ad-libbed over the top acting, cheap production values and scenes chock-a-block with gratuitous gore (there’s more than one might think) and ample sweater meat. But for those who do, I see a crowd with raised hands here, Todd Sheets delivers! And this B-fest overflows with carnage, eyebrow raising horrific dialogue and characters one would only hope to meet at a Waffle House after three am cradling a coffee and a smashed, crashed, scrambled, potatoes and egg concoction.

“Bad” as this maybe it also manages to offer scenes which one might not expect, things which happen with little to no introduction. Think Selwyn from Jackson’s Brain Dead/Dead Alive and only then will you be close. The storm atmospherics are better than one might imagine, and I would be amiss if I didn’t mention Chris the storm chaser’s Star Trek, Star Wars, Dalek shirt. But the real stars of the show are the boobs (of course I’d say that!) The Insane Clown Posse impersonators come in a close second with several characters making an instant impression. Big Ronnie, played by John O’Hara, injects theatrical hilarity into every scene he’s in and that maniacal laugh. Hunter Fedelis, Bobby Westrick, is a Southerner whose charm is infectious and Joel D Wynkoop (touted as the King of B movies and a cult icon by several genre publications for his over twenty year career in the B movie arena) plays Hawk; a hermit who’s willing to fly a canister of liquid nitrogen into the eye of the storm for none other than to honor a life-long friendship.

No elephants here, only gratuitous bloodshed

All in all, a cavalcade of unlikely heroes propels this from barely watchable to highly enjoyable though it remains still far from believable in any realm of reality.

I really should mention the soundtrack at this point. It ranges from synth, western jangles to rock and is unrelenting adding mood where applicable. There’s even a specially made track for the end credits gotta’ love that!

Ever thought what kind of mess a clown’s head would make if a bullet passed through it? Clownado answers that question and more and all in glorious technicolor. Whatcha’ waiting for? Getcha’ Clown fix on! Make this part of a double billing with 100 Tears and any Clownophile and gorehound will be left salivating.

A special event in which many got their ‘Clown fix’ on.

 

-B

 

I’ll leave this in the same way Todd Sheets and crew left the credits…

“And to people all over the world fighting to make their own movies. Never give up the dream”.

It seems appropriate and gives everyone an alternate to the unimaginative over-hyped tripe that Hollywood continues to pump out.

 

 

Clownado is on VoD now and is due to release on DVD September/17 (2019)

Scorching the Retinas – The Velocipastor

Scorching the Retinas – A were-Dinosaur Film? Now I’ve seen it all!

The Velocipastor (2018)

USA/China

Director – Brendan Steere

Writer – Brendan Steere

Runtime – 75 minutes

Cyfuno Ventures, Hollow Tree Films, Laika Come Home.

Wild Eye Releasing

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.  (synopsis courtesy of the films writer and director; Brendan Steere)

When faced with a film with such a title and story line (above) how could I not resist a view, and the temptation to lay down a few words, seriously. To my knowledge the same premise hasn’t been tackled before. Sure, monsters of all varieties, shapes, size, gender (and political leaning) have been utilized in all manner of films before now. Unless you count the short film from 2011, by the same director, which started it all.

The title scene from the ‘original’ short.

But none to my understanding include an individual, in this case lets spice things up by calling him a Pastor (which makes one only wonder where ‘the earth was created only a few thousand years ago’ belief/mythos comes in), who has the ability to transform into a Prehistoric killing machine, add to that ninjas and words of advice from a hooker (sex trade worker, street walker, purveyor of pleasures at a cost who knows what they’d like to be known as in this delicate time and age) and we have a film which I for one can’t ignore, much like a doughnut on a plate with a flashing neon sign which reads “free. Eat me. I’m yours!” Without further ado…

(trailer courtesy of JoBlo Movie Trailers)

The Velocipastor opens with a Grindhouse aura with a bold legend across the screen, which reads, “Rated X” by an all Christian jury is this indication of how the film will play out? It certainly has a sense of undeniable humor even this early on. The hilarity and a feel for how the film might roll out continues early on, in a scene in which the pastor, Father Doug, waves hi to his parents only to scream in terror as the car they’re next to explodes into flame. Although the image on screen is merely that of a legend “VFX: Car on Fire”. At this point I can well imagine those sans a love for B/zero to-no budget movies to have dispersed already (would the title alone not give an early indication of where the film might lead and how it might play out?) leaving those with the addiction to such glued to their seats.

Questioning his faith due to the abrupt and untimely demise of his parents Doug, played by Greg Cohan, decides a spot of travelling is in order. But he’s confused as to where to go. Father Stewart is on hand thankfully to offer a few words of advice “Go to where you think God will not follow  (and if he’s there, he’s within you)”

A rocking soundtrack finds our Pastor on the road, a myriad of questions and his faith battling for supremacy within his jumbled thoughts.

Doug finds himself in the forests of China, though I doubt his car took him all the way there. After an epiphany that China is in fact East Doug is perturbed to find a lady roll into his view. “Are you hurt/” he asks looking at an arrow protruding from her chest (this is honestly how the film plays out and I’m loving every minute of it) she offers him something and amidst the obvious language barriers he discovers he’s being watched and followed. The artifact in his hand cuts him in his haste to get away. In the next scene he awakens to discover his China trip is through, the following dialogue is plump full of unintentional hilarity and that he’s hungry.

Cut to a street view in which Doug runs in search of something. Meanwhile, a street walker encounters her pimp, Frank ‘Mermaid’ (cus he’s “swimming in bitches”) and discovers his maniacal laugh is worse than his bite and the park is where the money’s at. But there’s also something else lurking in the park. As luck would have it however a rubber suited large toothed reptile comes to the rescue and with this in mind it comes as no surprise that this film relies more on its glaring tongue in cheek nature than its FX departments professionalism and budget. Mannequin heads, crimson syrup and all. Although a synth addition certainly adds to Grindhouse homage and the films somewhat faux tension levels.

When they aren’t busy necking Doug and carol enjoy camping and taking down Ninja crime syndicates

In the following scene a slew of close ups and rushed zooms adds to the perceived drama emphasizing the characters facial expressions and reaction to that which seems impractical (to say the least). Confusion, again) unintentional hilarity and blunt dialogue is a huge plus in a scene where Doug realizes he can transform into something his faith tells him never existed. But, more importantly, can he get over receiving advice from a person whom he shouldn’t be associated with?

“Wait…you’re a hooker.”

“And a pre-med at law but people aren’t too surprised at that one!”

After discussing his predicament Doug is still in two minds about his next steps until, that is, Frankie (fuckn’) Mermaid, portrayed brilliantly by Fernando Pachero De Castro, enters his confessional booth.

Various camera shenanigans, close ups in rapid succession, a focus on a gaping wound and incessant screaming overlaid by synth adds to the film’s grindhouse homage vibe and the audience is either loving it or hating it at this point.

Following this encounter a plan is hatched and the groundwork is laid with commandments to follow, which still need to be hammered out if truth be told.

“I don’t know much about God.”

“I don’t know much about Dinosaurs…”

And it appears there’s a new superhero/vigilante hitting the crime-ridden streets.

A budding relationship indeed!

A lengthy montage scene, set to a poppy rock soundtrack, shows the pair building on a budding relationship as well Doug training for his new role as one who cleans up the streets with his claws, tail and hunger. A great touch perhaps a little overbearing but this only add to the film’s awkward nature and lovability.

Doug still keeping with his profession continues to preach and take confessional, in a standout scene he’s caught unawares by Father Stewart (who has concerns about his recent behavior) resulting in him hiding books on dinosaurs like an adolescent caught with porn.

Doug decides to confess. Dramatic music adds to his spill-all. Father Stewart is at odds with what to do, he wants an exorcism and an end to Doug’s ‘hallucinations’ has he been hitting the Bible a little too hard late at night it makes one wonder?

If only it were porn.

Father Stewart, Daniel Steere (a relation to the films creator?), decides the Diacese is taking too long so he decides to take matters into his own hands in taking his companion to an unauthorized expert on the same subject. An inclusion of a backstory (of how the two met) adds considerably more humor, more specifically of the darker variety, to the film, weight to his character and depth to the story (a standout scene includes but us not limited to; a bucket full of guts, a VC trip mine, a visit from a loved one and a thousand yard stare).

Have I mentioned the city’s crime element and ninjas yet? My bad, but seriously this should come as no great surprise! A ninja with an Australian accent who takes his sweet time formulating a game plan of attack, within a small collective of the same (sans the accents) who just so happen to be patrolling the park, adds to the film’s unpredictability and fun and further on-screen antics from the rubber suited one.

Hero, menace or merely a large reptile who poops in the woods?

Further split screen and camera effects (think The Brady Bunch) add an elevated art approach level to the proceedings where it might not have been assumed before. This whole scene could be perceived as being the flashing thoughts being processed within Doug mind and in short conveniently (for those not paying attention) recaps the entire film, up until this point, in only a few seconds. In short, Doug is in love and is about to embark upon enlightenment and a trip to pleasures of the flesh-ville against the teachings of his faith and profession.

Further scenes including the same crime element. and the inclusion of Father Stewart, explain the tenuous link between street drugs, help groups, the Church and Global dominance as if this needs explaining any further, isn’t this already covered extensively in The Lion King?

Much like a similar scene from An American Werewolf in London sans a budget

The Films final showdown depicts surprising fighting prowess (my Kung Fu is better than yours) an emotional Ninja collective and a full torso transformation under, wait for it, complete control, as well more of the same diabolical, though still highly enjoyable, effects. It also brings about the history behind the mysterious Dragon Warrior mythos in case one might be wondering about the history of the artifact.

Wait is that Michael Davidoff, is this another American Ninja entry? nah.

Well, this is a great deal to take in but I’m glad to report that Velocipastor is an especially easy to follow feature. The humor is obviously front and center. I honestly don’t think the same premise could be pulled off given a serious light to work under, and it works (in much the same way Kung Fury does, if you have yet to see this do so at your earliest convenience) leaning heavily on quirkiness, awkward situations and naturally the, elephant in the room, odd ball and bizarre elements, even send ups of several other genres which are all famous for using little to no budgets.

Doug and Carol (played convincingly by Alyssa Kempinski), the love interest who has crippling student debt, steal the film and their interactions and on-screen chemistry are priceless. However, for me it’s the dialogue which propels the film to even greater heights the quirkiness, the blunt nature and dry comedic pacing which has me chortling like one crazed. Naturally this isn’t for everybody, but for those who enjoy the sillier side of the B movie spectrum, the occasional Troma affair and films which can laugh at even themselves whilst holding onto the slimmest of story lines this is a feature which deserves a portion of your time. I would even go so far as to say that this would make a great triple billing alongside the BC Butcher and Kung Fury.

Your slave to cinema which often runs the gamut of unfathomably bizarre

Cult

For those burning with curiosity, like myself, I’ve thought it wise to include a trailer to the original short film (courtesy of the mind behind the prehistoric madness; Brendan Steere) Enjoy.